When I was younger I used to joke that I was only afraid of three things: clowns, needles, and country music. Now that I’m older and wiser, I’m still terrified of clowns, as every sane person should be. However, I’m no longer scared of needles, thanks to receiving a multitude of them before moving to Zimbabwe, and I’ve also developed an appreciation for some forms of country music, mostly because I went through a Johnny Cash phase in my early 30’s and more recently binge-watched three seasons of Nashville with my wife.

The unfunny thing about my fears is that I have many more than three. Without spending too much time thinking about them, I can easily make a lengthy list, such as:

• Dying before my kids are old enough to take care of themselves
• Dedicating too much of my daily life (and vacations) to my work and my phone
• Wondering when people will realize I’m inherently lazy and inefficient
• Messing up my kids with inadequate parenting skills
• My shyness being interpreted as arrogance
• Having to network in a room full of strangers
• My crazy puppy racing out the door and getting hit by a car
• Not investing enough into my older son’s social and academic development
• Realizing that I’m a sell-out who got a desk job instead of writing a novel
• Squandering my resources instead of giving more to people in need
• Not being suitably qualified to find a new job or career opportunity
• Staying in the same job because I lack the courage to try something else
• Becoming seriously ill or losing my mobility
• Cutting open my hands while washing the dishes
• No longer being useful or valued in my professional life
• Participating in a system that marginalizes or devalues others
• Moving into a greater leadership role … and not moving into a greater leadership role
• Being fake and insincere around others and with myself
• Caring too much about things that don’t truly matter
• Admitting to my constant struggle to believe in God
• Embracing too much public transparency and vulnerability

But mostly I’m afraid of getting into my car one night and discovering there’s a clown in the back seat.